When Emotions Feel Too Big: A Guide to Emotional Regulation for Sensitive People
If you’ve ever felt like your emotions are “too much” or that you are “too sensitive,” you are not alone. Many people experience emotions so deeply that it can feel overwhelming or even scary. Emotional intensity is not a flaw. It often means you care deeply, notice more, and feel things fully. The challenge is learning how to regulate those big emotions in a way that feels safe and manageable.
In this post, we’ll explore what emotional regulation is, why it matters, and how sensitive people can use practical strategies to feel more balanced. I’ll also share examples from clients I’ve worked with (with details changed for privacy) so you can see how these tools might apply in everyday life.
What is Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation is the ability to notice, manage, and respond to your emotions in a way that helps you feel grounded instead of consumed. It is not about shutting feelings down or ignoring them. Instead, it is about developing skills to ride the wave of your emotions without being swept away.
Think of it as building an internal “toolbox” that helps you handle emotions without letting them take complete control.
Why Sensitive People Struggle with Emotional Regulation
If you identify as sensitive, you may notice that emotions hit you harder than others. A comment that someone else brushes off may stay with you all day. A stressful situation may leave your body tense long after it ends.
This sensitivity often stems from a combination of temperament, upbringing, and nervous system wiring. The good news is that sensitivity can also be a strength. With the right tools, your capacity for empathy, creativity, and intuition can flourish rather than overwhelm you.
Signs Your Emotions May Feel “Too Big”
Feeling flooded by emotions in conversations or conflicts
Crying easily or often, even when you don’t want to
Struggling to think clearly when you are upset
Shutting down or avoiding situations because they feel “too much”
Experiencing physical symptoms like racing heart, stomach aches, or muscle tension when emotions run high
Client testimony:
One of my clients shared that she often felt paralyzed by her emotions during family arguments. She would either explode with anger or completely shut down. Through therapy, she began practicing grounding skills that allowed her to take a pause, notice what was happening in her body, and respond instead of react.
Core Skills for Emotional Regulation
1. Pause and Breathe
When emotions are big, the first step is to slow down your body. Taking a few slow, deep breaths signals your nervous system that you are safe. Try inhaling for four counts, holding for four, and exhaling for six.
2. Name the Emotion
Putting words to your feelings can reduce their intensity. Instead of saying “I’m overwhelmed,” try being more specific: “I feel anxious and afraid.” Naming what you are experiencing brings clarity and control.
3. Ground in the Present
Use your senses to anchor yourself. Notice five things you see, four things you feel, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste. This helps your brain shift from emotional overwhelm to present awareness.
4. Reframe Your Inner Dialogue
Sensitive people often criticize themselves for “overreacting.” Instead, try offering yourself compassion. For example: “I feel deeply, and that is okay. I am learning to handle my emotions with care.”
5. Move Your Body
Emotions live in the body. A short walk, gentle stretching, or even shaking out your hands can help release built-up tension.
Client Testimony
A client once described her anxiety as “a fire that takes over everything.” By practicing grounding and reframing her thoughts, she learned how to “turn the fire into a candle flame” that she could sit with without feeling consumed.
How to Build an Emotional Regulation Plan
Identify your emotional triggers
Choose two or three go-to strategies (breathing, grounding, movement)
Write them down where you can see them
Practice when you are calm, so they are easier to use when you are upset
Common Misconceptions About Emotional Regulation
Myth: Regulating emotions means ignoring them.
Truth: Regulation helps you feel emotions fully without losing control.
Myth: Sensitive people will always be “too much.”
Truth: Sensitivity is a strength when paired with healthy coping skills.
Myth: I should be able to do this on my own.
Truth: Emotional regulation is a skill that often requires support and practice.
Client Testimony:
A client told me she used to believe she was “broken” because she felt things so strongly. Through therapy, she realized that sensitivity was part of what made her a loving parent and friend. With practice, she learned tools to manage emotions without shutting them off.
Closing Thoughts
Big emotions do not mean you are weak. They are simply a sign that your nervous system feels things deeply. With practice, support, and patience, emotional regulation can become second nature. Remember, this is not about changing who you are, but about learning how to honor your sensitivity in a way that feels safe and steady.
If you’re ready to build your own emotional regulation toolbox, I would love to support you. At Vine & Branch Counseling, I work with individuals who want to feel more balanced and grounded in their daily lives. You can click here to request an appointment or get more information.
